Grump.

As far back as I can remember, I have been a grump.

Grump Evidence A:

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What the heck am I so pissed about!? Poor gramma…

I have quite enjoyed being a grump. Being a grump is extremely self-indulgent, after all. Nobody ever seems to get as much recognition for being super happy. Grumps, on the other hand, force you to pay attention to them. Being a grump really worked/works for me…. sometimes.

Pros of being a grump:

1. People often consider your sarcasm to be one of your finest qualities.
2. People enjoy the exaggerated stories you tell. Hilarity ensues.
3. Frowning uses way more muscles than smiling. Excellent facial workout.
4. Scowling makes you less approachable. People will leave you alone on the bus and Max.

Cons of being a grump:

1. Sarcasm can make you sound like a real ass sometimes.
2. Exaggerating stories for comedic quality can sometimes lead to ridiculously untrue stories that are hard to keep track of.
3. Frowning makes you look ugly. Plus, when I frown, I tend to get a double chin for some reason.
4. It’s tiring to be so grumpy.

Grump Evidence B:

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Again… poor gramma.

My mother has much video evidence to prove my grumphood. One video showcases a four year old Kate waking up on Christmas morning. I came stumbling out of my bedroom holding my Big Bird stuffed animal, wearing footsie pajamas, my Playschool kitchen apron, and a big ol’ scowl which was slightly offset by having my preferred sucking fingers in my mouth. PILES of presents were waiting for me in the living room and my mom, who was behind the camera, couldn’t WAIT to see my reaction. I hope she wasn’t holding her breath, because there was no reaction. DIDN’T she know I was TIRED!?

This winter and early spring I found myself grumpier than ever. Like, clinically grumpy. Suddenly my typical sarcasm and exaggerations weren’t fulfilling. Life was sort of difficult and I knew I needed a change. There were many changes that occurred this spring, most of which I will never discuss here. But, what I can discuss, is the idea of YOLO.

YOLO – you only life once. It started off as a joke, yelling “YOLO” every time I decided to stay out past 9pm.

It would go something like this:

Friend: “Kate, do you want to go get one dollar PBRs?”
Me: “I don’t know… I’m kind of tired. I MEAN… YOLO!”

Then we’d skipping off to enjoy our refreshing hipster beer.

On a lovely day in May, I met the king of YOLO. From that day forward, my life as a grump was compromised. He’s always smiling. He never says no. He always has a great idea for a great adventure. Suddenly I was going out on adventures on weeknights, going bike camping with nothing but a muffin, two mangos, and a bag of off brand Chex Mix, not looking at my watch for hours at a time, sailing down the Columbia River, eating gummy worms for dinner, riding my bike through a mob of people wearing a giant flowery 80s prom dress, and.. best of all… SMILING. Life was and is good.

Non-Grump Evidence A:

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King of YOLO and said giant flowery 80s dress.

I can say without a doubt in my mind that I had the greatest summer of my life. I’ve never felt so connected to friends and family. If I were a betting woman, I would say that it might be because I chose to change my attitude and become more positive. Consequently, people started talking to me more often on public transportation. Like I said – pros and cons.

Non-Grump Evidence B:

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Family vacay in California

Non-Grump Evidence C:

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Ma gals.

Long story short – I will always enjoy being a grump sometimes. It’s kind of who I am. Do I still have extreme grump moments? Oh god, yes. But, I’ve come to realize the benefits of being more positive. I’m happier than I can remember being in a long while. I have friends and family that are taking notice and frequently congratulating me for the simple fact that I look so pleased with life right now. Can’t get much better than that.

In the interest of continuing to be positive, I will end my blog posts with a list of things to be happy about:

Things to be happy about 10/02/2012:
1. My birthday is less than two days away.
2. My mom is coming to visit me in Portland for the first time over my birthday weekend. Yes, I get an entire weekend.
3. King of YOLO gave me a big ol’ bunch of “remember me while I’m in California” flowers to keep me smiling all week long.
4. Gifts keep pouring onto the porch and, unlike my four year old self, I am quite excited every time I see one of those packages!

The list can go on…

Peace, love, and patchouli – Portland Pollyanna

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This entry was posted in Happiness and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Grump.

  1. momMomLaudermilk says:

    Love the new blog and love the new you. Thank you, Mr.Yolo, for your part in making my daughter so happy.

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