Millions of comments run through my head while watching “The Bachelor”. If I were with my mom, I would say these comments out loud. Since I was sitting in bed with headphones on, I chose to write out my comments instead.
*Note: In addition, I would refrain from saying these things out loud if I were watching “The Bachelor” with my friend Dee. She would violently “shoosh” me.
These are the things I would have said out loud if I watched “The Bachelor” with my mom:
1. It was incredibly irresponsible to put those maniacs on a plane together.
2. What exactly does “Sonomafied” mean?
3. Courtney is not a model. She is a neanderthal. That brow ridge is somethin’ else.
4. I want to hate all of these women because it is simply more fun to watch that way. It’s tough to hate Kacie. I take it back… I hate Kacie because she spells her name K-A-C-I-E.
5. Casey S? There’s always someone in the group that goes completely unnoticed. They leave you saying “who now!?” Casey S. fits that role this season. If you need a way to remember her, just remember that she’s the Casey that spells her name like a sane human being.
6. Ben looks like one of my students as a grown up. I’m having a very hard time with this…
7. Blakeley… is “very blessed” AND has huge choppers.
8. “My cheeks hurt from all of the laughing.” – Courtney. You weren’t laughing, Courtney. Robots don’t laugh.
9. Casey S? Who now!?
10. “I can’t even hear what these girls are saying, but I know that all they’re doing is bitchin’.” – David as he looks over my shoulder.
11. “These girls look tired. Maybe it’s the HD?” – David (I was watching on my laptop… not exactly HD.)
12. Jenna would like to “forget this ever happened.” Not a chance, Jenna. Not. A. Chance.
Peace, love, and patchouli –