Cleansed bowels and The Bach.

Let me just start by saying this:  I love cake.  I think it’s not a mystery to you readers.  I love sweets.  I love sweets so much that I went ahead and made it the bulk of my diet.  I can remember the last day of school before holiday break.  My coworker was talking to me and I had NO idea what he was saying to me.  I was looking at him, but I was not in any way focused.  I spent the first half of the school year forgetting a lot of things.  Things seemed to go in one ear and out the other.  I suspected that I had ADD.  I just couldn’t function!  I drank two or three cups of coffee in the morning, followed by some sort of diet soda or more coffee in the afternoon.  I just wasn’t getting it…

I was high on sugar.

As you already know, I’ve had my wake up call and I was ready to move on.  2011 baby!  Woo!  So I took the plunge.  Nothing but plants until dinner.  I didn’t know what would happen at dinner, but I knew that saying I could only eat plants until dinner meant that I could successfully dodge whatever was in the teachers’ lounge.  I was very successful in my first week.  I ate nothing but plants and then, at dinner, I added a grain, like cous cous. I stayed true to my goal, even on the weekends.  The following week I was just as successful.  Then, one day, after a healthy dinner, I decided to have a bowl of soy ice cream.  It was the most sugary thing I have EVER tasted.  An ice cream that I’ve had MANY times before, suddenly tasted like a block of sugar!  What the hell!?  I had a hard time sleeping that night, but I got over it.

Roughly two weeks in, I spent the weekend with an old friend.  She asked me if I had been working out a lot.  I told her the truth; I work out about four times a week… not nearly as hard as I used to.  Puzzled, she continued to question my lifestyle and asked if I’d lost weight.  I almost laughed at this.  I had put on ten pounds since moving to Portland.  There was no WAY I looked like I lost weight, especially to a person who hadn’t seen me in over a year!  Curious, I weighed myself at the gym the following morning.  I had lost ten pounds.  I was shocked.

I erased nearly six months of horrendous eating habits in under three weeks by eating plants, plants, plants, and more plants.  Beans, greens, nuts, fruit, veggies, and repeat.  I ate A LOT too.  No deprivation. What I didn’t eat was meat, dairy, eggs, or anything packaged.  I have since found that my now hyper sensitive taste buds are because I am no longer dulling my senses with tons of processed junk.  And as for the inability to focus and remember ANYTHING that has been said to me?  Pretty much gone.  I have a MUCH clearer head.  Call me crazy, but I see the connection.

I think I’ll keep on truckin’.  It’s becoming easier and easier.  I’m also awfully “cleansed”… IF you know what I mean…

On an unrelated note:

The Bachelor.

I came to one conclusion this week.  Unless someone in your family has tragically died, abandoned you, or abused you, you have NO business finding love.  Also, crying is ALWAYS attractive, and the Bach will be there to wipe them up with his gigantic thumb. Finally, vampires have feelings too.

Peace, love, and patchouli,

Portland Pollyanna


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2 Responses to Cleansed bowels and The Bach.

  1. Kelley says:

    I’m eating a lot plants, too. Lots of organic fruits and veggies and almonds. I don’t feel deprived either. It’s wonderful. [I’m always up for cupcake pancakes though]

  2. Jennifer B says:

    I don’t know. This sounds too hard for me. I am very impressed!

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