Enough is enough…

Fun’s over folks.  Time to pack it up.  I’ve been livin’ the high life and now it’s time to get back to reality.  The following actions have set my life into a downward spiral:

1.  Staying at work until 7pm all too often — which certainly cuts into my blogging time.

2.  “Working out” two days a week… at most.  I’ve put working out in quotes because this term is used loosely to describe time wasted on the elliptical machine watching Teen Mom.

3.  Spending my life savings on multiple grocery store trips per week — each trip more unorganized than the last.

4.  Sugar, bacon, and caffeine.  I’ve eaten more sugar and more bacon than one should EVER eat.  Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing WRONG with a doughnut covered in bacon and several cups of coffee per day.  I just know that I used to somehow survive without them.

I may or may not have eaten my fair share of this little gem over the holiday break…

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had a blast during this period of overindulgence.  The past four months have been some of the best months of my life.  But, if I continue on this path, I may put a damper on future good times with, say, a heart attack.

So here we go — time for some resolutions.

1.  No more leaving work at 7pm.  Nobody else stays at work until 7pm.  I would like to make a shout out to my dear friend Dawne.  Dawne, you shouldn’t stay at work until 7pm either.  You have a lovely husband at home that misses you.  My official daily cap will now be 4:30.  You heard me.  FOUR THIRTY.  That is one hour past contract time.  I’m still an over achiever.  Are you still listening, Dawne?

2.  Since I will be leaving work at 4:30, I will have more time to get my fitness in check.  Someone seems to have put an inner tube around my waist in my sleep and I can’t seem to get it off.  I propose a minimum of three gym days during the week and at least one outdoor bike ride on the weekend.  I think I just saw my bike shed a tear — it’s been a while little guy.  Sometimes I have to remind myself that I used to be a bad ass.  I used to ride my bike nearly every day.  I used to race against people.  What the frick happened?

3.  I can’t continue spending so much money on grocery shopping.  I need to MAKE A LIST.  What an idea.

4.  Here’s where the real crazy comes in.  Stick with me here.  I simply can’t go on dipping cookies into frosting by myself in my office.  Take a moment to imagine that pathetic image.  My resolution is to eat ONLY PLANTS until dinner time.  PLANTS.  Fruits and veggies until dinner.  I used to eat these super charged green smoothies last year that were as good as a cup of coffee in my book.  Tons of spinach, bananas, and mangos.  Delicious.  Smoothies, juice, salads, fruit and nuts until dinner time.  Dinner will consist of whole grains and protein.  I will allow myself treats — in moderation.  Will I still eat bacon covered doughnuts?  Yes.  Will I still eat an entire basket of garlic fries on most Friday nights?  Yes.  I just won’t do these things EVERY SINGLE DAY.

So there you go.  Maybe I’ve inspired you.  Maybe you think I’m crazy.  I don’t care.  I have a grocery list to make.

Oh yeah, expect to see more posts from now on.  I got badgered by many people over the holiday break.  I’m back.  I promise.

Peace, love, and patchouli –

Portland Pollyanna